Weekly Email!

Hey , sorry it took a little longer today. We're in Tayug right now
and the computers are acting weird for some reason. Write now I'm
writing this in a word document and hoping to just copy and paste when
the thing is loaded. It says I received your emails 15 hours ago.. so
not sure how long you've been waiting for , ha. Mom that thing is
crazy expensive , so don't worry about it. Thank you though for
looking for it! I thought it was like a 20$ thing from staples or
something. I have enough time here on Mondays to get everything done ,
so thanks anyways. Haha - I guess I'll address what I said last week
about Erwin. He is a member and insists on working with us alot. Haha
... he's not going to actually kill me , but he stares at me ... alot
... and then I'll say like how are you , erwin ... and he'll just
start laughing. ahaha. His brain is a little fried , but he's
harmless. And I've probably only got about 3 more weeks in this area.
It doesn't feel like I've been here al that long .. but at the same
time kind of does. The area is great , but I'm ready for a new
experience. I also like , Mom , what Matt Oakes wrote. That's a pretty
dang true quote. I have had so so so many days where all I wanted to
do was stop ... but there's a reason for everything. Everything I've
read ... everything I've experienced ... it all points to the fact
that there is a reason is everything. It's funny how I've finally
gotten to a point in my life where I actually want to search and to
learn , and as I do it all makes sense finally. It's literally
baffling how anyone can say the book of mormon isn't true , first of
all. Seriously... maybe I'm beig naive here but you've got to be the
most ignorant person on earth to actually believe Joseph Smith wrote
it. In order to actually deny the fact that it's not true means that
you just want nothing to do with the religion. It's not that the book
isn't true in your sight , but admitting it's true would commit you to
a lifestyle that you don't want. I think , often , that all Catholic
leaders and leaders of other religions must have read the book of
mormon. And it's funny to think , that although they are leaders of a
mass group of people in a search for God ... that they themselves are
willing to deny themselves the eternal blessings that come from this
book. It's amazing the testimonies of the early pioneers of the church
, especially the ones that fell away. If you read about Oliver Cowdry
and Martin Harris and David Whitmer... it's crazy. All three fell away
, but two came back. And although David Whitmer (I think , maybe it
was M.H) never came back ... he never denied his testimony of the gold
plates. It got to a point , that actually near the end of his life he
got so annoyed with all the rumors flying around saying he had denied
his testimony that he rented space in the chicago sun or something and
printed an article stating how he still knew the book of mormon was
true. He had differences with the church and with Joseph Smith , or
something , but the divine authenticity of the Book of Mormon never
changed in his mind. How is that not convincing evidence enough of
it's truthfullness? How can someone actually read that and still think
that it's fake? On top of the fact that Joseph Smith was only 14 when
he made his claim. What 14 year old would lie like that? And then
continue to endure the most impossible trials and tribulations to come
to a man. All because he wanted to be popular? Or was he crazy? If he
was crazy let's tack genius onto that for being able to write a book
that includes 100s of quotes scriptures , styles of writing unknown to
anyone in his area because they date back hundreds of centuries ...
points of doctrine not yet known , but later accepted by other
religions. Then prophecys that are unfolding in our day. I can't
remember what scholar said it , but they stated that no man can fake
history. No man can write a book (especially of over 500 pages) of
documented history and not cross himself at least once. It's not
possible. This is testimony , mom and dad , that we struggle to find
the words to say each day. Why can people not understand this? I've
come to the conclusion , that really it's not about the book. That
although if it is true , it means everything else is true. Because if
the book of mormon is true it means Joseph Smith saw what he said he
saw. He had power come to him from God. If power was given to him to
translate and to lead this restored church , it means that God would
have taken that power away at the first moment the church went astray.
We would know if we were being led down the wrong path. The fact is
it's true ... but that's not enough to most people. Our finite minds
cannot comprehend eternity , and it is because of that we look no
farther than 24 hours. When the truthfulness of a book will affect our
weekend , it no longer becomes true in our minds and common sense is
out the window. I'm thankful , Mom and Dad , for these experiences
because a mission really is hard. I had a pretty hard week this week
because we stayed in on Monday and Tuesday because Elder Laodeno was
sick. That wasn't why the week was hard , although we were so bored ha
, but afterwards we had to play catch up all week long. Which ended up
in a lack of effort in other areas which brought me down a bit , and
then Sunday just had a bad day. But it's insane what this gospel is ,
because it is Medicine. We got punted for a few hours after meetings
on Sunday and then as soon as we taught our first lesson and I was
able to bear witness of the truthfulness of this book the spirit
instantly came back into me and I couldn't stop beaming. Gosh it feels
so good to just say what you want to say and not hold anything back.
As members we restrain ourselves daily from what we actually want to
say because we live in a society that opresses freedom of speech when
it is not what we want to hear. That seems like a stupid thought , but
looking back I can't believe how scared I was to talk to anyone really
about the church unless they were close friends. We need to understand
that this life is the shortest thing we can imagine in the grand
scheme of Everything ... and because of that it's not up to us to
decide who we talk to and who we don't. It doesn't mean we need to
scream it at everyone but when we feel prompted , when we have the
opportunity there is no reason to not say what you want to say about
what you know is truth. The book of mormon is true , this church is
true , and because of that one fact. Because the book of mormon is
true , means that nothing else matters. It means that no struggle is
not worth it. It means that this mission is worth it. Oh how I want to
just speak english to this people and spiritually slap them in the
face when they tell me my savior was only a person. But we do what we
can and it becomes worth it. This work , as Matt says , is being done
in the Lord's way because that is His will. When it goes out of line
of that His spirit is withdrawn and the work goes astray and nothing
gets accomplished. I'm seeing during this transfer how much we lacked
the spirit when Elder Salde was my companion. It literally kills me to
think he wears my savior's name on his chest everyday because some of
the things he's done on his mission is so counterproductive and
saddening. But the spirit is real , the church is true , and my
testimony is firm.

Not sure why the email went in that direction ... but as I said I'm
trying to be more in tune every day and stop limiting myself from whom
I will talk to and what I will say. This life is too short to always
hold back our thoughts when all they are is testimony of truth. I hope
I haven't offended anyone in this letter , no offense or targeting of
anyone was intended , seriously. It's just insane what feelings run
through me while I'm out here doing this work.

I'm sorry it's taken a little longer for me to get this email out
today. I love you all and I'll write ya next week!
-Elder White